


Chemistry

by dridri93



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of child neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dridri93/pseuds/dridri93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by this prompt:</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It occurs to me that Rhodey could conceivably be rhodium.<br/>SO. Assign them all elements! All the Avengers and everyone else you feel like. And have them talk about it, and maybe get annoyed with the selections made for them, and just generally break the fourth wall in multiple places and have fun. :P </p>
  <p>(Maybe the element-assignation was Tony's idea, because Tony would.)</p>
</blockquote>"In Tony’s experience, some people had an element that just fit them."
            </blockquote>





	Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. Any mistakes are my own.  
> Do not own.

In Tony’s experience, some people had an element that just fit them. He supposed that if he extended that philosophy to himself, he’d be chromium. Traces of chromium gave certain minerals their color, and too much chromium was toxic to humans. Just like him.

Howard had been the first person to get a designated element. “Stark men are made of steel!” the man cried, over and over. Tony had listened raptly when he was young (no longer, no longer), and “Daddy” became “iron” in his head. He never called Howard that to his face, because iron was brittle unless smelted with other metals, creating steel. But later on in life, Tony knew: Howard had been a brittle man, uncaring and bitter. Howard was iron.

His mother had been next. At a young age, Tony had given her gold, worshipping her like his goddess for her beauty. But then Tony turned ten, and Maria decided that he was damn well old enough to play on his own. Maria became zirconium then, the element that was formed into cubic zirconia – fake diamonds. Maria partied and schmoozed and drank as much as she could when Tony was in his teens – fake idol indeed.

Jarvis, on the other hand, got Tony’s best offering: helium. Completely unreactive, helium was used in medicine and in play, just like Jarvis kept Tony healthy and happy when his parents failed.

Tony never called any of them by their names, knowing that no one would understand, especially not Howard, who knew that iron was brittle while steel was strong and titanium was indestructible. (Howard would never be titanium, because a petty car crash killed him.)

That trend changed when Tony created JARVIS in a drunk fit of engineering. As soon as the British voice echoed through the room, Tony blurted, “Silicon!” Poor JARVIS, his servers still basic, almost took that as his name, but Tony corrected himself, stating, “JARVIS. Good to hear you, buddy.” In time, JARVIS learned that his name was interchangeable: JARVIS, Jay, and silicon. JARVIS knew that silicon was the main component of computer chips, so he accepted the logic of his creator and added the name to his logs.

When Pepper stormed into his office, a nameless secretary, and challenged Tony himself about an accounting error, she immediately got the honor that Howard never did: titanium. Her straight back and uncompromising face earned her that honor. Later, Pepper would become his oxygen, and Tony would beg her to please, please stay, I need you.

By the time Rhodey had popped up, he had acquired the element “rhodium,” purely for his name.

~

Trying to find their files in JARVIS’ mainframe, none of the Avengers understood why Tony had element names as their codenames in JARVIS. Especially Steve, who had never heard of “americium.” Thor understood pretty quickly that some Midgardian material had been given his name, so he was more than pleased by their compliment. Natasha just stared at hers: on the older folders, she was mercury, but slowly her files were headed under platinum. Clint got carbon, and he looked at his carbon-fiber bow and carbon-fiber arrows and shrugged. Bruce was surprised that he also got two elements under his name, technically: phosphorus for the scientist and uranium for the Hulk.

Tony stumbled into the room to find all of his teammates looking confusedly at their tablets. “I guess you found my designations, huh?” he asked, grinning (he might have been running on half a pot of coffee).

Steve looked up first, mouth screwed up. “Americium?” he asked.

Tony nodded, still grinning. “Yeah, Capsicle. Figured that the all-American hero deserved an element that was just as American.”  
Bruce muttered, “Phosphorus?”

Tony scrubbed the back of his neck with a hand. “Yeah…about that. It’s explosive, y’know. But it’s also used in fertilizers and on match-tips, so it provides light. Kinda like you, buddy. You may Hulk out when provoked, but you’re one hell of a help when you’re…you. And seriously, can you think of any other element for Hulk? Uranium makes big explosions in the old atomic bombs, and it emits gamma radiation.”

Thor smiled at the gentleness in his shield-brother’s face, but glanced back down at his personal tablet. “Man of Iron, I would inquire as to where my false name originated from as well.”

Tony turned to the thunder god, shrugging. “Again, one of those moments where I just find one that fits. Its name is thorium, buddy. How much more Thor can you get?” Thor nodded his acquiescence.

Clint spoke up in the silence that fell: “Carbon? For the bow?”

Tony rubbed the back of his neck again. “A little bit, yeah. You also just have this gritty way of being, right? You’re like coal, until you’re under pressure and then all of a sudden you’re crystal-clear and diamond-hard. It made sense.”

Tony turned to walk to the kitchen and fetch more coffee – the workshop had run out – when Natasha touched his shoulder. The engineer spun, eyes wide, before forcefully relaxing and quipping, 

“Wanna know about yours too?”

The assassin nodded and asked quietly, “Why two?”

Tony lowered his voice and sighed, “When I first met you, I thought you were…poisonous, like mercury. You flowed like it does, too, going with the flow. Then you showed up for the Avengers get-together and you were different, focused. Clint was gone and you had this look that made me think of Pepper, a little bit. Like a momma bear, but…deadlier and five times more beautiful. So you got platinum, a non-reactive metal often prized for its beauty.”

Natasha nodded, satisfied. “Do you do this for other people?”

Tony shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, Coulson’s one of the noble gases, Rhodey’s rhodium, Pepper’s…titanium, and Loki’s iridium.”

“What about Stane?”

Tony paused and pulled back, a black look overtaking a face suddenly made of stone. “Palladium.” The genius stalked away, and only the assassin’s training allowed her to see how much his hands shook.

~

Tony had a quirk, giving people designations according to their personalities. He wouldn’t tell every single person their element (why would he tell Fury that he was radon?), but it was filed away in his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Might've deviated from the prompt a bit. Feelings happened.


End file.
